Life & Happiness

Equilibrium

Star signs – does anyone actually read into them seriously? As a Libra I am a supposedly balanced individual, keen to keep the peace and make people happy.

To be fair, this is quite accurate.

However the reality is that keeping the peace and making other people happy often makes looking out for yourself a lower priority. For me, being a people pleaser means that trying to keep balanced is literally the mission of my life.

I can spend one week being productive at work, exercising three times, seeing friends and also managing to make time for myself. The next week I’ll probably find myself not exercising at all, double booking myself with friends, spending too much money and getting stressed at work.

After 25 years of attempting to find equilibrium in my overly conscientious and sometimes anxiety-ridden life, I thought I would share some of the best ways that I’ve discovered to regain balance in life:

Take a day off

When I feel myself feeling anxious, stressed or run down, the best thing I can do for myself is take a day or two off to be by myself. This can be taking a day of annual leave at work, or even spending a weekend with no plans whatsoever, not running any errands and not seeing anyone. Every once in a while I need a day where I can just get up late, make a nice breakfast and just chill at home, singing along to music or reading a book. Everyone needs to stop and recharge at some point.

Write

For me personally, writing is incredibly cathartic. This is, of course, why I have a blog in the first place! As much as I love talking and sharing things with the people I’m close to, there is something about writing down what I am feeling that feels so good. Sometimes it’s nice to let out your emotions or negativity, without necessarily having a response.

Sing

Singing is definitely good for the soul. My stress levels start to gradually go up if I haven’t had a good sing-song in a while! It properly takes my mind away from whatever anxieties I’m feeling and makes me really happy. I often sing in a gospel choir which is fantastic because it means that I have a weekly commitment to singing which helps reduce my stress levels. Also, it sounds silly, but I used to absolutely love having a commute to work (driving, not on the train!) because it meant having a guaranteed stretch of time everyday where I could listen to my favourite music and sing my heart out!

Exercise

This is probably an obvious one. When I’m having a bad day, the last thing I want to then do is get in my gym clothes and work out or go for a run. All I want to do is curl up in my bed and sleep. However, if I manage to still get myself out running when I’m feeling rubbish I feel really proud of myself for fighting past the negativity and doing something good for my body and mind. Even if it’s a 10 minute jog around the block, it’s definitely better than nothing. The endorphins don’t suck either!

Ask for help

If you’re ever really struggling with stress or anxiety, the best thing you can ever do is ask someone for help. This could be talking to your manager about your workload, if it’s getting a bit much, opening up to a friend about a stressful situation, or speaking to your GP if you’re not coping well.

I know quite a lot of people who have had counselling or therapy of some kind, and all of them said it was helpful in one way or another. You might have to try a couple of different types to find the one that works for you, but it’s worth it. People spend a lot of time looking after their bodies – eating healthily, going to the gym and working out. Everyone seems to know to look after themselves in order to prevent illnesses and things. Why on earth don’t more people take the time to look after their minds and emotions in the same way?! Physical and emotional wellbeing come hand in hand so you really need to put time into taking care of both.

Figure out your own boundaries

For me personally, my anxieties and stresses are often based around my people-pleaser personality traits. So finding my own boundaries and learning to put those first, before anything else, is one of the most important things I can do. I can sometimes find myself saying yes to everyone and before I know it, I have a week filled with plans, rushing here, there and everywhere and probably spending more money than I should. I always worry that if I say no to people then they’ll be annoyed or I’ll have let them down in some way, when in reality, the people close to you won’t mind at all! If someone isn’t happy with you saying no to something, then you should really be reevaluating whether you really need that person in your life. You need to prioritise your boundaries first and foremost.

Despite trying to make leading a balanced life a priority for myself, there is still inevitably going to be days, or even weeks, where I feel out of my depth and completely off balance. At least now I’ve learnt to recognise it, give myself a break and try and get back on track. Being a people-pleaser definitely makes the balancing act of life that bit harder, but I wouldn’t change it for anything!

(Whether this personality trait of mine is due to the alignment of stars in the sky remains to be seen!)

What are some of your go-to tips for regaining life balance? I’d love to read them in the comments below and add some to my list!

Carrie x

10 thoughts on “Equilibrium

  1. I love this post! I too have been trying to work out my equilibrium and what works best for me to relax and get the most done! Definitely think that setting boundaries is the part I need to address first and foremost. xx

  2. I have a very busy life, full of responsibilities and I mostly put myself last as it feels like it’s the only way. There’s so much to do all the time and exercise hasn’t made it onto my schedule for 18mths now. Some days I just don’t know where to start. So, as I mostly work from home, sometimes I pack up my things up and go work elsewhere, with WiFi, for an environment change which helps with my focus. Or, I take the first 45mins of a day to tidy up, make a list and schedule things, plus get the washing in the machine for later. This make me feel more organised and less hectic in my mind.

    1. Thanks for your comment Rach! It’s so difficult juggling things – I can’t imagine what it’s like when you’ve got a house and family to manage as well as work…you’re a true superwoman!

      It’s good to have things to keep you organised I think, it definitely helps me feel in control when things get hectic. Setting aside time for yourself is so important too.

      Carrie x
      http://www.thelipsticktrail.com

  3. I love this made me cry wish I could find my equilibrium struggling hopefully soon after reading this will try some of your suggestions xxx

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